fuck chronology, I’m recounting this in sections rather than based on how they happened.
part I:
Our Black Mail Pictures LLC meet up failed, most the people couldn’t show up but were still interested in developing something. It was short notice, so after no one showed up, I called this kid Mark that Crotch introduced me to. He meets up with me and Jay. He’s written a few screenplays and he lived in the area, so we networked somewhat. I had gotten a copy of one of his scripts a week or 2 before and read a bit of it.
This guy spends all of his time at coffee shops and diners writting in little notebooks, sounds and looks feminine. Weird all around in many ways. Cocking’s guess was that he was a schizophreniac. Reading his script and hearing him tell me about his other ones made me think of him as a Frank Capra / Harold Lloyd type writer (all the stories have a moral protagonist who is seen as peculiar by a corrupt society, then through perserverance and staying true to himself the protagonist is justified in his goals). Which is great, if you like crap. Every single one of his ideas was like a mixture of 5 other movies that weren’t that good to begin with. But, he writes a great deal about nothing. Conversely, me and Jay have good concepts and story lines but have trouble getting them written out to 120 pages. so adding our 2 failed approaches I thought we might get somewhere.
After hearing him blather on about his cliche film ideas starring 2 dimensional characters for an hour I try to breaking it past him that Black Mail Pictures is going a completely different direction. I describe the story we’re working on, about how its focused on a suicide cult that murders a newborn, hundreds of people die while vomitting everywhere and screaming, and the only thing slightly romantic takes place due to stockholm syndrome. . .
his comment: “that’s insane.”
my comment: “good insane or bad insane?”
his comment: “I don’t even understand why you would want to do that”
I then explain how the theme of the book is that no religion can know they are correct and extremism for what you consider to be good will cause you to be evil, and churches are no different than cults. He still doesn’t like it. Me being the constant over-optimist still think a working film relationship may happen.
FAST FORWARD: He comes over to work on the film. Nearly everyone there is smoking pot out of a skeleton bong. Mark is a pasty white guy that plays accoustic guitar at open mic nights. The cast that is there is DJ Wax (a bmi rap/techno artist), Corey (this really cool dude, who, if you didn’t know him and were from the suburbs, one might stereotype as thuggish), and Rob Jesus (hippie intellectual extrodinaire). Me and Jay go downstairs to clean up, at the time, Mark is reading the end of the script (he hasn’t fully read it yet)(the script ends in plenty of blood spill). When we come back he has left to go buy cigarettes. I tell Jay “Watch, I bet he got scared and drove off”. I was right. Black Mail Pictures ain’t nothin’ to fuck with.
Part II:
I should explain my last post where I said that Joe M shouldn’t have been invited to the movie. Originally I called t00ls0b3r when were were trying to drastically pull together people as a crew. Joe, as usual, had a date with basic cable and couldn’t be bothered. I pleaded for him to help. He refused, but that’s the way he is, he doesn’t like doing things.
I had left my coffee maker at home, and after talking with Mark for over an hour we were running late. We ask if we can borrow Joe’s coffee maker, since we’ve already bought coffee and filters. He says “you can have it, that thing sucks” or some similar comment. I assure him “no, I’ll return it, I already have an extra coffee machine”. We go to Joe’s on the way to the shooting location. After exiting (I’m carrying the coffee machine), my phone rings, it’s Wax. I hurriedly hand the coffee machine to Jay while I give Wax (who can’t navigate through a drive-thru) directions. Within the 2 minute walk to the house, jay drops the coffee pot, shattering it into middle-of-the-street oblivion. Crisis was later averted by the Dunkin Donuts near the shooting location that offers boxes of coffee similar to the boxes of wine.
So then, after Joe M had refused to help. Cool people show up to help on the movie: Rob Jesus (script supervisor), Joe W (second camera, then later first camera), teaming with Jay (director), we are doing pretty well. I text joe M telling him not to bother coming because we don’t need him. Then, Joe M decides to text me back saying he’s coming over. My thoughts were he could do lighting since they were a bitch moving between shots, and the other crew was already busy doing something else. . . . Joe M changed the lights a few times, but not nearly as many times as he dicked around like a middle schooler on a field trip. He slowed production more than not having a “lights person” would have.
PART III:
I had to act as the Rocco character since the actor slated got pnemonia, and the replacement had things shoved up his cock by doctors. I’m not sure how well I did at all, but I guess it was passable. We got 75% done. We got REALLY giddie at the end of the movie, we laughed so hard we cried. The actors will come back eagerly. It was a great film experience. Our speed was slow, but I think it was through a lack of practice. I wish I was on the other side of the camera. I don’t know how it will turn out, maybe there will be time for re-shoots.
I think Sofia, Wax, Joe W, and Rob were amazing and I’d like to base Black Mail Pictures around them or people like them rather than a lot of these corpo retards filling my inbox lately.
GOODNIGHT!
